


What Are You Doing Here?

by heichoux



Category: Marvel
Genre: Gen, M/M, Spideypool - Freeform, dont @ me if the characters dont act the same anymore, let me have this!!!!!, oh wow look i finally publish something new, or if theres a major difference with current canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-08
Updated: 2019-01-08
Packaged: 2019-10-06 11:28:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,207
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17344454
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/heichoux/pseuds/heichoux
Summary: Deadpool has a mission, Spidey also has a mission.The only problem is, that they're both after the same guy.





	What Are You Doing Here?

**Author's Note:**

> It's 2.30am I'm so fuckin tired but I want to upload this now and edit it later. I wrote this all tonight with my own prompt that I had found from some dusty ass word document I had and I got inspired.
> 
> Enjoy if you can!!
> 
> ETA (one day later): I'm not sure if I like this piece or not, and unsure if it's something I should write a continuation for. Please try to enjoy it anyway.
> 
> X

The best thing about renting out some rundown, damp, messy apartment is that the even messier, damper, rundownier -- [That's not a word] -- apartment that's across the street from you, gets inhabited by the bad guys. Not that all bad guys live in places like that. The neighbours would _suck_.  
But, when there are bad guys, there are heroes, and when there's a will there's a way. Yadda yadda yadda. Deadpool just knew he hit the jackpot with this deal.  
"Hey, Spidey! Yoo-hoo!" The merc was calling out from where he knelt on the roof of his apartment block, one arm waving at the oblivious superhero perched on the edge of the building opposite.

See, Spidey's been watching the bad guys all week now, and that alone raised suspicion from Deadpool.  _He's_ the one supposed to take them out to get paid, he's  _not_ supposed to just let the hero hand them to the police, for what? A few slaps on the wrist?  _Hell_ no. In front of the merc sat a sniper, mounted on the ledge and trained on the window in which the kingpin frequented.  
Deadpool began waving more erratically when Spidey's head finally, _finally_  turned towards him, and despite having confirmed that these people will be dead by today, tilting his head, Deadpool asked, "You want me to take them out now, sweetums? Or later, when you're finally done stalking them?"

\--

Having a new, high-tech advanced suit can have an innumerable amount of pros, but of course, there are also a few cons. For example, as a pro, Spidey's ablity to use the tiny mics (disguised as spiders, of course) that are able to "crawl", to listen in on the conversations that these low-life smugglers are having, is extremely helpful. He can now plan his best mode of attack, can now figure out when is the best time to strike so the appropraite form of justice may be given. However, by listening so intently to the near-muffled conversations, he really was unable to pay any attention to the outside world.

And by that, verbal greetings from a certain individual clad in black and red, are included in the outside world. They went unnoticed. Very easily.

The only thing that was able to catch his attention was movement to the left of him.

However, with the delicate nature of the conversation that was happening mere metres away behind a brick wall or two, the hero's spidey-senses went a little bit into overdrive and he was immediately put on edge, before he could even identify who - or what - it was that was causing this movement.

But, probably for the very first time since knowing the guy, Spidey breathed a sigh of relief when he recognised Deadpool perched on the building opposite. His adrenaline already began easing off, which would usually be the complete opposite reaction to seeing Deadpool. Huh. Maybe he's more of a rational-seeming person now?

Oh, no. Never mind.

Masked-white eyes landed on the gun.

That was pointing directly at the window that, about ten minutes ago, Spidey had released his little spider mics into.

Taking .2 of a millisecond to switch off the now-static feedback from these microphones, Spidey very unfortunately, and very clearly, heard Deadpool's question.

Knowing how trigger-happy the mercenary is, due to his job of being _exactly_ that, a  _mercenary_ , Spidey didn't have much time to think. He leapt to his feet and waved his arms in a manner that mimicked an 'X' -- in a manner that would very clearly mean to any sane and rational individual, ' _do not shoot_ ". Throwing himself in front of the window isn't much of an option; he can't run the risk of the people inside this apartment knowing that they're being watched and listened to.  
Thankfully, there was no bullet that whizzed by him.

Yet.

\--

"What the fuck are you doing?" Deadpool muttered to himself as he watched Spidey's little interpretive dance unfold. He seemed to ready himself to take the shot again, but with the window now missing a doorway silhouette, he turned his attention back onto the hero. "Neither of us are _birds_ , Spidey!" he called out.

\--

Spidey had no idea what Deadpool was talking about. _Birds?_ But, he was glad to see the familiar mask look at him, rather than through the lens of his gun. Almost tip-toeing on the concrete roof of the apartment, Spidey quietly brought himself to the corner of the building, away from the apartment, and swung over to Deadpool's building.

With how careful he seemed to be taking each step, Deadpool would be willing to bet that Spidey would be a strong match for children's theatre. All these overdramatic steps were amusing to watch, and his mood only increased when he saw that Spidey would be joining him.

"Ah, you are making a wise choice, baby-boy!" the merc exclaimed as Spidey approached, his grin obvious behind the mask. He began to stand, leaving his gun propped on the window ledge. "I gotta stretch my legs after sitting here for fuckin' hours, so listen: you just look through _this_ " -- he used a finger to tap the lens -- "and pull _this_ " -- he tapped the trigger -- "when you see the big, scary bad man, okay?"  
He was nodding as he finally stood up properly, and found himself in the beginnings of a stretch before he then found himself with arms bound to his side.

He paused, offended at first that his stretch had been interrupted.

Then annoyance set in.

And then arousal?

No, no maybe not.

Not now.

Not yet.

He balled his knuckles, sucked his teeth. Shuffled his feet. Did other semi-rhyming things.

"You know how much I love your love-juice, Spidey, but now is not exactly the right time," he began, and started rocking back and forth on his heels. God, his nose itched.

He sniffed. Cleared his throat.

Seemed strangely calm.

Spidey was only watching.

Deadpool couldn't read his expression.

He really didn't know if that was a good thing or not.

Quiet.

Why's it so quiet?

Deadpool tried again with breaking the web that bound his forearms to his torso, but it was no use. Stupid web, what's it gotta be so strong for? Supporting tiny-Spidey? "It's not like I wouldn't be able to lift him with one finger," the merc suddenly said, staring very intently at the web-head in front of him. "Unless you have some fuckin' adamantium bones or some shit. Or is that too X-Men? Maybe vibranium inst -- mmph!"

Now he couldn't move his mouth.

"Deadpool."

_Oh, he speaks!_

Spiderman took a small step forward. Deadpool wondered if he was even blinking under that mask. 

_Intense stare, bro._

A hand gestured at the gun and before Deadpool's own eyes could follow the direction they were pointing in, the rifle had sailed over the edge.

And down, down, down it went.

"Mmph uuuu umphin mmphim ee?!"

Spiderman stayed silent as Deadpool continued to rant in the same manner for another minute or two, only ever pacing in front of the hero.

Not once did he invade his space. He's gentleman-y, after all.

Not once did Spidey understand a word he was saying.

 _'Merc with a mouth' suits him a little too perfectly,_ he thought.

**Author's Note:**

> I haven't written anything in years.. Since my last uploaded piece of work, so 2015.
> 
> Please kudos or comment if you can, it really does motivate me. But of course, only if you enjoyed(:
> 
> And want a continuation lol
> 
> I accept CC!! Rip into me
> 
> Thank you for reading
> 
> X


End file.
